It is coming up on your 3rd birthday. I can't believe it has been 3 years since we met you for a short time, and then you went back to live with Heavenly Father. We miss you, and we think about you often. Around this time of year my heart always feels a little heavier, a little sadder. I know I can't change the past and what happened, but it is still hard to think about the day we had to send you back to heaven. I think of holding you in my arms, counting your perfect fingers and perfect toes, and I miss you. I know I will see you again, I know you are in a safer, better place, but you are still a part of our family and we feel of your absence. I love you, your Dad loves you and so do Kaili and Karson. We will come visit you next week at your grave and think of the baby you were and the person you will one day become.
I love the smells that you bring me
Fresh cut grass, light rain storms,
Fresh flowers, and sun tan lotion
Yet sometimes my heart feels weighted down
Because summer, you also bring me pain
I think of him, my little one
And how that July day he was born
And summer, it makes me sad.
I have so many other things to celebrate
During the summer
And those things do bring me joy.
But yet I cry a little faster,
Get upset a little quicker
And build up some walls inside myself.
He will be 3, you know
I wonder what he would be like
What he would say and what he would do
I often think about those things.
I play the image over and over in my head
Of his chest rising and falling
Holding my angel in my arms for just one
Short, sweet, day
Someone wrote something for me, summer
They said “We know you didn’t want to let him go
But you had to set him free”
I try to be happy, I try not to feel..lost
But during the summer, that same feeling
Always comes back.
A sense of
Remembering what is not with me
I love my life, and the blessings it has brought me
My son I have here with me now
Is my happy note, in my softened, aching song
I keep busy and fill my days with plans
But it’s a feeling living inside of me
So please summer send some peace my way
Lighten my heart and chase away the tears.
I hear him in the wind, rustling in the trees
I see him in the stars staring back at me
The summer nights I lay awake in my bed
Thinking of that day, when my world stopped
For just a moment
So my summer, my friend
Let your magic entice me, let the sun warm my face
I will look to the light, and I will hold onto my happiness
My brightness, in a summer season that can sometimes