Suffocation....

It's that time of year...summer..one of the best season's of the year, and also one of the hardest for me. I start to feel suffocated, anxious, irritable and sad. And NO matter what I do to stop it, I cannot. I feel bad, because I probably take it out on those I love most, and do not mean to. But I can't help feel what I feel. I miss my son. I miss not being able to see an almost 6 year old little boy, and what he would have loved to do, what he would have looked like and sounded like. It breaks my heart. It sometimes seems unfair, and I ask myself over and over again about why did this happen, and on the other end I hear silence. I'll admit it, I am extra tired, extra moody, and I just feel blah. I know it will pass as it does ever year, but I am starting to feel suffocated, and like I can't catch a breath.....